Family is a funny word
People use it to describe friends
People use it to describe blood
The meaning never changes
However
Everyone interprets the word differently
So
Forgive me
If I don’t want to call this broken house a family
Forgive me
If I get nauseous every time I hear the word daughter creep through your teeth
Forgive me
If even the slightest touch your hand against my skin sends shivers down my spine
Forgive me
If I seem distant
Forgive me
If I don’t care
Forgive me
If everything seems to be fine
Because I don’t have a choice
Forgive me
If I’m tired
Forgive me
If I cry over anything
Forgive me
If I’m not trying my best
Because I holding onto every ounce of pain and hurt
Otherwise I would drown
Forgive me
For trying to keep my head above the crashing waves
It’s hard to swim with a broken heart
Forgive me
For giving up
Forgive me
For accepting the fate of my actions
Leading me spiraling into a bottomless abyss
Forgive me
For the thorns and jagged edges
That catch every inch of bare flesh
Forgive me
For welcoming the pain
Forgive me
For thinking bad thoughts
Forgive me
For laying in bed and hoping I don’t see the sun
Forgive me
For letting it overwhelm me
Forgive me
For loosing my footing and slipping deeper
Because the ledge has been coated in tears of pain and hate
And I can’t hold on
Forgive me
If I drown
