Never Enough

Sharpened edge
Laid flat against the skin
The metallic finish...
Shining brightly in the dim light
One
Two
Three
Push
Cutting deeply into flesh
Gliding down
Through years of damage
Stop

Abuse from others
And myself
Torture
Inescapable torture
Again
One
Two
Three
Push
You aren't good enough
You aren't pretty enough
You are useless
You are worthless
Stop

The eyes
That stare back
From the polished glass
They're full of hurt
Full of pain
I will never be
Good enough
Pretty enough
My self worth
As been lost in the scars
And pain

Not The End

The braided nylon beckons me
like a curious cat to its death
The rope hanging and swaying,
like I soon will be
All my frustrations will soon cease to exist
As I too will bring my pitiful life
to its end
There is nothing to hold me here
Nothing that I care enough about to stop
No what-ifs,
no not this time
I don't see the light anywhere.
This is it
until that familiar tone plays
through my stubbornness
As I look down at my phone
for what may be the last time
I see it the light
at the end of my 
worthless existence
The voice of reason echoes through my head
The rope sways back and forth
Like a pendulum calling to me
But no, 
I'm not going anywhere
No not this time

Why

Why is it so hard
To let someone know
You screwed up
You made a mistake
Why is it so hard
To ignore them
To make them think
That they don’t matter
That you don’t need them
I still can't escape his memory
As much pain as he caused
Why is it so hard
For me to forget

Sometimes

Sometimes the road splits into two directions
Then sometimes the road doesn’t even split
And we have to cross paths
Those are the times that I could live without
The time I told you
The time that messed my life up
That was a mistake on my part
After almost a year the memories still haunt me
I try to run away from them but I can’t
They know every move I make before I do
I keep my thoughts locked away in a box
So I won’t hurt anymore then I do
But soon enough they’ll escape
How much of me will be left when they do
Will I still be me
Or will I just be a casing
A body without a soul
Something so vacant,
So empty
Why have you done this to me
I can’t stand you but I can’t stop thinking about you
How many more souls will you take
Or are you just…
Each day I fall deeper into my own personal hell
Because I fell in love with a demon
A dark angel that stinks of death
Something so putrid I cannot explain
One so vile
So horrid
Something that causes one to cringe in terror
But it seems I’m the only one screaming
Like I’m the only one that can see past your façade
Now you have another that has fallen under your spell
One that is ignorant when it comes to your darkness
Ignorant like I was
Even when I knew I pushed it away
Maybe she’ll trust her instinct
And run when she can
Before she falls so hard she can’t get up
And forgets about everything
Like I did

No One

I can't explain the hurt and pain I feel
I’m not sure it can even be called that
To be perfectly honest I feel nothing
I have an emptiness
One that used to be filled with love
Kindness
But now all that remains is pain
And numbness
I feel cold
And lonely
Like a lost puppy
With no one to follow
Like a fire with no one to warm
A ground
One that no one will travel

Miles

I close my eyes
And see your face
I open them
And you are replaced
By a white ceiling
Or a broad blue sky
I can't help but think
Your stars are mine
So I hope one day
We look up
And see the stars
And forget the pain
And on that day
When the same sky we see
I hope to look down
And see you looking at me
With your hand holding mine
Our warmth combined
To share our love
As bright as the sun

Love

What is love?
Feeling safe in his arms?
Not being able to stay mad at him?
Missing him when he's away
Even if he's only in the other room
When do you know you're in love?
When you can't see yourself without him
when you can feel your heartbreak
at the mention of him leaving?
How do you know it will last?
Without knowing the future
Can you trust him enough to break down walls
Even if you don't know for sure
And if he does leave...
How quickly will those walls be back up again
But if he doesn't then the pieces will slowly dissipate
Can you tell him you're in love?
Would he believe you if you did?
Does he believe you now?
Does he love you?
Does he wrap his arms around you at night?
Does he tell you he loves you?
Does he prove it?
Can you tell
Do you trust him?
What is it to trust someone else?
And what if someone else tells you its a lie
Or that your dreaming
Because you can't believe this is happening to you?
You cant be happy
It's not written in the stars for you to be
But you are.
And that someone else
Well they know nothing about you
How can they control your happiness
How could they be so bold
To say it was all a lie?
Well if this is a lie
I don't want to know the truth
If I am dreaming
Please don't wake me up
I want to stay happy
Even if its a lie
Even if I'm dreaming

Because of You

My heart is torn in tiny pieces
I thought I was over you
But I was wrong
When I see you I get butterflies
Then I realize I cant stand you
I cant believe I fell for you
But I did
Now I look at how stupid I was
How stupid I am
To feel this way over you
How can you have such an effect over me
I never should have said anything
About how I feel
Because it caused nothing but destruction in my life
No good has come from you
All them memories I had with you
All the times we spent together
They haunt me now
When I try to see you as another face in the crowd
The crowd disappears
Along with my  safeguard
Because of you
My heart is torn in two

Beauty In Your Eyes

Your eyes are like an open meadow in the thickest forest
They are the brightest green
Your hair falls like golden rays of light
Shining through the clouds on a bright day
Your touch crawls across my skin like a thousand butterflies
Kissing my skin ever so gently
Your voice is music to my ears
Like the wind blowing through the trees
Your kiss is the sweetest
Like a sugar cube slowly melting on my tongue 
Lingering
When you left I didn't want you to go
My heart opened up to you
Whatever wall I was in the process of building
Your taking it down brick by brick
I long for the touch of your skin
For the brush of your lips against mine once again
Lay with me till the end of our time
And into the next